Assalamualaikum.

It has almost been a year huh since I last updated?
Sure a lot of things happened.

                                     

There's so much change happening this year. In me and those around me. The PT3 results were out on the 14th December. Alhamdulillah I got 11A's. Thanks for everybody around me you guys sure helped a lot in various ways :) Yeah thanks everyone.

I was just here. Wandering. Thinking. Since I hadn't updated my blog for ages so why not though? And yeah. Here I am thinking whether I should be sad or not that I hadn't received any gifts or anything from anyone for my astounding results ((Well I wasn't going to brag but it's just impossible for me to feel nothing at all I'm sorry)) Aish. I'm sad but yeah well who cares about me anyway? I'm just a pest.

                        

I miss the old me. My old life. No I mean when I used to be so happy. When there's not much to think about. There's just me - my dorky self - and my world, which has not fallen apart yet. I'm missing those times. I'm missing the way my heart beats to those moments. They were so calm. No worries. No anxiety. No frustrations. Just .... nothing. It used to be so carefree, my life. It wasn't this complicated. I'm not used to this kind of lifestyle (yet). It's not like I wanted to. The pain still lingers. The scars still bleed. The tears still fall. The sad songs kept replaying. The nightmares kept coming. Getting worse as the days count. I just need to stay strong, right? It will change for the better one day, right? Say yes TT_TT Oh please.

And guess what? There's another concern. Why is everybody starting to think that I'm a nice person? Well I'm fucking not a bloody nice person. Shit I do curse. I talk bad things. My mind isn't in its right place. I'm retarded. A bullshit. What else? A loathing piece of shit? Yeah that's me yeah. So can you see how tough growing up is? I've always held onto Peter Pan's words.

                                      


Sadly enough, the handsome actor grew up and he ended as a hot teen. Me? Well what am I? Growing up meant more things to take care of. More responsibilities. More enemies. Less friends. Yeah you know what? I'm so disappointed with those who gave up easily with their friendship. What do they think? This is some game or what? Don't you cherish your friends? Dude, it is a must that you get judgement from those around you. Would you just keep calm and kill them inside your head? Surely, they're not worth giving up your friend for. Argh!!

GET A LIFE. Seriously I hate those who easily gave up. Well maybe if he gave up in a game well sure I can still take it. But life? Hello? THIS IS YOUR FUCKING LIFE AND YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE YOUR FRIEND LIKE THAT? DO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE A FRIEND WITH THAT ATTITUDE?

Dude I'm drop dead serious with this kind of thing. Just think wisely. Yeah people change. I change. You change. But one thing sure does not change. Our memories together. Dude, you changed a lot. I hate to admit you're being distant from me. I hate to admit that you had found a new friend. I hate to admit you've found my replacement. Yeah I hate every single thing. HOW COULD YOU.

Oh and for your information, this year had been a tough year for me. I can't sleep every night. I can't wake up every morning. I can't recall having a life. Maybe I said that I'm okay. Maybe I said that I have problems but I can endure it. Let's just say that I don't want to burden your soul that does not even care about me. That does not even hear me out.

Well, I guess I've written enough. Keep your mouth shut and change your perspective towards society. Argh.

Okay adios.